Yuck feeling Mary J. Blige ako!
Anyway, it's been a week since my birthday. I had dinner with some friends, lunch with my officemates, a small dinner with dad and bro (family dinner pending til this weekend to celebrate mine and my mom's birthday) and a day wearing my maxi dress with laurence. I know what you're thinking... me in a maxi dress?! but hey, it was my birthday and it felt good.
So i got a nice dress from kim, a bag charm and a clutch from simon, spa gcs from arbie, flowers from marwin and laurence, earrings from chesca, a top from don, perfume from jen and a couple of other knicknacks and im 27. im personally grateful for all the material things that i got but im more glad that more people remembered. my brother and some friends always joke that i only have a few friends so i cant afford to piss off anyone anymore, but i think that the ones on my speed dial are gonna be around for a long time. hey, i know how to pick them. they're usually a wee bit desperate. kidding!
it feels odd to say this again, but 10 years ago, i seriously thought i'd be more kick-ass in my 20s, let alone in my late 20s. im probably as kick-ass as i possibly can be but i always thought i'd be more. some days i feel old and tired but most days, i still feel good about where i am. part of it is because i tend to sometimes look back at some stuff that's happened to me and i wonder where my life would be if i had stayed at another job, with another guy, or if i never moved from the pit that was my life a few months ago. then i feel good that as surprising the turnout of events were, i like that i learn and i go on. life is still good.
one love people. one love.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
For my birthday...
I want these things:
1. Chocolate Buffet at Mandarin Oriental
2. Walking Tour of Manila (with Carlos Celdran)
3. Trip to Boracay
4. A new digicam/cellphone (Im just a bit tired of what I have now so a new one couldnt hurt!)
5. Clothes, Shoes, Makeup... as in take me shopping!
6. Dog stuff like treats, toys and maybe a cute shirt for my leila
7. Lindt Mint Chocolates
8. DVDs ng mga series na na-miss ko (gusto ko ng entourage season 4!)
9. spa treatments
10. a whole day off with my books, dvds, chips, chocolates and yes, a tub of coke zero!
1. Chocolate Buffet at Mandarin Oriental
2. Walking Tour of Manila (with Carlos Celdran)
3. Trip to Boracay
4. A new digicam/cellphone (Im just a bit tired of what I have now so a new one couldnt hurt!)
5. Clothes, Shoes, Makeup... as in take me shopping!
6. Dog stuff like treats, toys and maybe a cute shirt for my leila
7. Lindt Mint Chocolates
8. DVDs ng mga series na na-miss ko (gusto ko ng entourage season 4!)
9. spa treatments
10. a whole day off with my books, dvds, chips, chocolates and yes, a tub of coke zero!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Atenista ako!
The last time we won the championship, i was still a college student. It was also an Ateneo-LaSalle match. I was lucky enough to score tickets then. As soon as we won, everyone rushed back to Ateneo for the impromptu cheer party at the Bellarmine field.
Im so proud of our team this year, not because I feel the same fondness and nostalgia for the "kids" who bring home the prize for the school as most alumni feel, but because it means so much for us to win after thirsting for it for so long. I love being an Atenean. It gave me a sense of belongingness that I still feel now when I meet people in the workplace. If anyone should ask me what the best gift I ever got was, it was the fact that my parents got me here. College was fun. :)
Im so proud of our team this year, not because I feel the same fondness and nostalgia for the "kids" who bring home the prize for the school as most alumni feel, but because it means so much for us to win after thirsting for it for so long. I love being an Atenean. It gave me a sense of belongingness that I still feel now when I meet people in the workplace. If anyone should ask me what the best gift I ever got was, it was the fact that my parents got me here. College was fun. :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
last night...
my mom and i went to mass in padre pio in libis. sobrang daming tao. grabe!
bless all of us. we could all use a little healing in our lives.
bless all of us. we could all use a little healing in our lives.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
overdue
i've never been to new york. but if i should ever be there, i hope to come when the US Open is playing.
***********************************************************************************
im a staunch fan of rafael nadal. don't get me wrong, i love me some federer but nadal just takes this sport to its true level: game. federer, for all his talent and skills, border on prissy for me. his outfits are impeccable and his stance so royal. perfect, i assume, for such a country club sport. after all, tennis is the gentleman's game. oh but nadal... for all his good looks and disarming aura, nadal never fails to entertain. his muscles bulge against the thin fabric of his clothes. his fashion may be considered boring -- what, with capri pants, sleeveless tee, bandana and the occassional jacket -- but it's completely different from the sea of loose shirts, shorts and cap in the circuit. the new yorker sums it up nicely: roger federer represents swiss precision but rafael nadal is pure majorcan passion.
the spaniard took many amzing highs this year: his win at the french open, his nailbiting win at wimbledon (where, i might add, i shed a few tears of joy), and his gold at the olympics. the boy's a star and im fairly certain he was exhausted by the time the US Open rolled around. he fought the good fight but even rafa admits that andy murray definitely outplayed him. too bad, though. everyone was hoping for a nadal-federer finale. everyone, perhaps except roger himself after losing the french open, the crushing defeat at wimbledon and to top it off, handing over the top spot in the atp. jokesters theorized that roger's win at the US Open was due to the unwavering support of roger's secret other half to his may-december affair... no, not Mirka, who he says is the love of is life... but Anna Wintour, perpetual fan, friend and fashion ally. I personally can't imagine Nadal in the arms of Wintour. His unkempt curly locks might actually put a look of disdain in her expressionless, over-botoxed face. I'd pay to get a photo of that.
I love Nadal. I love how his energy seems to come from a well within him that drives him to win. He does many things that show power. His strokes are precise, he moves and twists his body midair to hit the racquet, he grunts like a madman and very rarely smiles as he plays. in fact, the lack of expression in his face makes him very hard to read. when he seems to be struggling, you won't see a look of worry in his eyes. when he seems to be winning, he doesn't carry a smug look in his face. all there is is sheer intensity. for a guy with such a strong, hard physique, i love how he moves and maneuvers himself in positions ballet dancers should be doing. Nadal is primal power at its finest.
Which is why I love the US Open. In Wimbledon, the players all look so glamorous and even in the heat of the sun and the hard rain, even the audience are all poised and serious. I imagine they all speak with a pompous british accent, drinking tea while making stirring comments about a certain bloke's tennis prowess and preference for burberry accessories. The US Open audience are engaged. They are dressed down to jeans and shirts, with some fanatics even going shirtless donning body paint ( I saw this in the match between rafael nadal and mardy fish). They loudly cheer for their bet like in football. they are racuous at times. i love it. sports whould be enjoyed like that. As this is already an utterly gratuitous entry about my rafa-worship, i shall post one of my favorite nadal photos of recent times. Ladies (and a few gentlemen who might care), the world number one (in tennis and in my heart):
***********************************************************************************
im a staunch fan of rafael nadal. don't get me wrong, i love me some federer but nadal just takes this sport to its true level: game. federer, for all his talent and skills, border on prissy for me. his outfits are impeccable and his stance so royal. perfect, i assume, for such a country club sport. after all, tennis is the gentleman's game. oh but nadal... for all his good looks and disarming aura, nadal never fails to entertain. his muscles bulge against the thin fabric of his clothes. his fashion may be considered boring -- what, with capri pants, sleeveless tee, bandana and the occassional jacket -- but it's completely different from the sea of loose shirts, shorts and cap in the circuit. the new yorker sums it up nicely: roger federer represents swiss precision but rafael nadal is pure majorcan passion.
the spaniard took many amzing highs this year: his win at the french open, his nailbiting win at wimbledon (where, i might add, i shed a few tears of joy), and his gold at the olympics. the boy's a star and im fairly certain he was exhausted by the time the US Open rolled around. he fought the good fight but even rafa admits that andy murray definitely outplayed him. too bad, though. everyone was hoping for a nadal-federer finale. everyone, perhaps except roger himself after losing the french open, the crushing defeat at wimbledon and to top it off, handing over the top spot in the atp. jokesters theorized that roger's win at the US Open was due to the unwavering support of roger's secret other half to his may-december affair... no, not Mirka, who he says is the love of is life... but Anna Wintour, perpetual fan, friend and fashion ally. I personally can't imagine Nadal in the arms of Wintour. His unkempt curly locks might actually put a look of disdain in her expressionless, over-botoxed face. I'd pay to get a photo of that.
I love Nadal. I love how his energy seems to come from a well within him that drives him to win. He does many things that show power. His strokes are precise, he moves and twists his body midair to hit the racquet, he grunts like a madman and very rarely smiles as he plays. in fact, the lack of expression in his face makes him very hard to read. when he seems to be struggling, you won't see a look of worry in his eyes. when he seems to be winning, he doesn't carry a smug look in his face. all there is is sheer intensity. for a guy with such a strong, hard physique, i love how he moves and maneuvers himself in positions ballet dancers should be doing. Nadal is primal power at its finest.
Which is why I love the US Open. In Wimbledon, the players all look so glamorous and even in the heat of the sun and the hard rain, even the audience are all poised and serious. I imagine they all speak with a pompous british accent, drinking tea while making stirring comments about a certain bloke's tennis prowess and preference for burberry accessories. The US Open audience are engaged. They are dressed down to jeans and shirts, with some fanatics even going shirtless donning body paint ( I saw this in the match between rafael nadal and mardy fish). They loudly cheer for their bet like in football. they are racuous at times. i love it. sports whould be enjoyed like that. As this is already an utterly gratuitous entry about my rafa-worship, i shall post one of my favorite nadal photos of recent times. Ladies (and a few gentlemen who might care), the world number one (in tennis and in my heart):
*sigh*
how about you, dear? who's your favorite athlete and why?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
TV JUNKIE
im currently downloading (shh!) new episodes of season 2 of gossip girl. and it takes up a ridiculous amount of my energy as i debate whether i love chuck bass more this season or if serena is now my favorite character. Note: Rufus Humphrey is still hotttt!!!
im also watching one tree hill season 5. ooohhh bartenders are always delicious!
and then there are reruns of friends, frasier, sex and the city and will and grace. i also love watching entourage. i still think i could be ari gold!
i really should get out more.
im also watching one tree hill season 5. ooohhh bartenders are always delicious!
and then there are reruns of friends, frasier, sex and the city and will and grace. i also love watching entourage. i still think i could be ari gold!
i really should get out more.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
please
let me warn you now. this is going to be a long and emotional post.
yesterday, my brother lost one of his friends. needless to say, my brother is devastated by the loss and the trickle effect has begun. my mom was deeply saddened for the parents who have lost a child. i know she knows the depth of a mother's love and can never imagine the anguish they must face as they go through this tragedy. i feel for the friends who have lost their comrade. when life is a battlefield, to lose one of the soldiers is a cut that runs deep. it leaves empty gaping wounds that bleed everyday -- a reminder of a life cut short, way before its due.
i am tremendously overwhelmed by this senseless tragedy. i am sorry that i have to be witness to 5 suicides of people i know. it's painful for me each and every time. i wish there was more that could have been done for those in despair. at this point, i truly believe that therapy and medication have its own merits. i wish i could find a way to make help more accessible to those who need it. perhaps there is no better time than now to find a way to reach out to someone who suffers from the grips of depression and lead them to the proper help. depression is a serious illness and there should be no stigma against people who suffer from this. emotional pain is just as horrible as physical pain, if not more.
in another blog entry (in another channel) i wrote about the betrayal of the mind and body. ive always lived in fear of having a terminal illness. i find that even the most resilient spirits can still crumble in heartbreaking fashion when faced with a body that fails to move forward. i think of people who fight cancer and wonder where they get their strength and the faith to withstand the pain. they are heroes who fight a battle that rage within them, a fight between the will to live and surrender to death. and then i wonder about those whose bodies are perfectly well but whose minds and spirits slowly wither away until all hope is extinguished. when life beats you up and mind and your spirit choose to retire, in this battle, death often wins.
suicides actually comprise a huge chunk of deaths every year. and the attempts are even greater in number. it is estimated that there are 20 million failed suicide attempts in a year. do we really want to make this number greater? more than the grief that comes with the loss, those who are left behind by a suicide victim suffer trauma, anger, remorse, and guilt. the repercussions often leave the bereaved helpless, in constant emotional pain and a crippling inability to move beyond the death. i know this because ive survived 3 suicides from people i know and have been close to. while i never knew this boy well, i know him from the stories i've heard and the fact that his life seemed to be so similar to people i know, make this death as painful as the others. feelings i thought were long buried when my friends passed resurfaced and i struggle now to find ways to stifle this grief and to heal. and this is just me, a stranger to this boy in many ways, a third party observer.
what do i say to comfort those left behind when i found no answers for myself when faced with the same loss? how do i tell them that life will be better later on when there are no assurances good enough? how do i lie? i was so sad yesterday when my mom said that every parent's dream for her child is to see him grow up, finish school, become successful and have their own families. these dreams will no longer be realized when a 20 year old boy dies. more than that, i cannot even begin to fathom if acceptance will ever become a possibility. it shouldn't be that we settle for far less and have our parents' dream that their child merely survives this life. we should all be so lucky and dare to go further than that. let us dream for each other a peaceful and happy life, steady jobs that pay well, beautiful grandchildren for our parents, more new things to discover, more experiences to share with each other. let us all live for as long as we can, as wonderfully as we can. we live in a world where brotherhood and fraternity is more pronounced, where it is easy to commune with someone from another part of the world. let us reach out and make sure that anyone who suffers from depression and loneliness know that there is always another hand to connect with, there is always an ear willing to listen. let us make each others' lives worth saving and our own worth living.
yesterday, my brother lost one of his friends. needless to say, my brother is devastated by the loss and the trickle effect has begun. my mom was deeply saddened for the parents who have lost a child. i know she knows the depth of a mother's love and can never imagine the anguish they must face as they go through this tragedy. i feel for the friends who have lost their comrade. when life is a battlefield, to lose one of the soldiers is a cut that runs deep. it leaves empty gaping wounds that bleed everyday -- a reminder of a life cut short, way before its due.
i am tremendously overwhelmed by this senseless tragedy. i am sorry that i have to be witness to 5 suicides of people i know. it's painful for me each and every time. i wish there was more that could have been done for those in despair. at this point, i truly believe that therapy and medication have its own merits. i wish i could find a way to make help more accessible to those who need it. perhaps there is no better time than now to find a way to reach out to someone who suffers from the grips of depression and lead them to the proper help. depression is a serious illness and there should be no stigma against people who suffer from this. emotional pain is just as horrible as physical pain, if not more.
in another blog entry (in another channel) i wrote about the betrayal of the mind and body. ive always lived in fear of having a terminal illness. i find that even the most resilient spirits can still crumble in heartbreaking fashion when faced with a body that fails to move forward. i think of people who fight cancer and wonder where they get their strength and the faith to withstand the pain. they are heroes who fight a battle that rage within them, a fight between the will to live and surrender to death. and then i wonder about those whose bodies are perfectly well but whose minds and spirits slowly wither away until all hope is extinguished. when life beats you up and mind and your spirit choose to retire, in this battle, death often wins.
suicides actually comprise a huge chunk of deaths every year. and the attempts are even greater in number. it is estimated that there are 20 million failed suicide attempts in a year. do we really want to make this number greater? more than the grief that comes with the loss, those who are left behind by a suicide victim suffer trauma, anger, remorse, and guilt. the repercussions often leave the bereaved helpless, in constant emotional pain and a crippling inability to move beyond the death. i know this because ive survived 3 suicides from people i know and have been close to. while i never knew this boy well, i know him from the stories i've heard and the fact that his life seemed to be so similar to people i know, make this death as painful as the others. feelings i thought were long buried when my friends passed resurfaced and i struggle now to find ways to stifle this grief and to heal. and this is just me, a stranger to this boy in many ways, a third party observer.
what do i say to comfort those left behind when i found no answers for myself when faced with the same loss? how do i tell them that life will be better later on when there are no assurances good enough? how do i lie? i was so sad yesterday when my mom said that every parent's dream for her child is to see him grow up, finish school, become successful and have their own families. these dreams will no longer be realized when a 20 year old boy dies. more than that, i cannot even begin to fathom if acceptance will ever become a possibility. it shouldn't be that we settle for far less and have our parents' dream that their child merely survives this life. we should all be so lucky and dare to go further than that. let us dream for each other a peaceful and happy life, steady jobs that pay well, beautiful grandchildren for our parents, more new things to discover, more experiences to share with each other. let us all live for as long as we can, as wonderfully as we can. we live in a world where brotherhood and fraternity is more pronounced, where it is easy to commune with someone from another part of the world. let us reach out and make sure that anyone who suffers from depression and loneliness know that there is always another hand to connect with, there is always an ear willing to listen. let us make each others' lives worth saving and our own worth living.
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