chase

why do we want what we cannot have?

it's amazing how i never come up with a good enough answer for that question inspite of the many many times i've wondered and pondered. i always seem to like that chase, that feeling of almost having it in your hands and yet not having it at all. i know a lot of people --particularly those that choose to venture beyond the world of the dreamer -- who would say that almost never ever counts at the end of the day. i know they are right, but it's the adrenaline of working for a goal and not making it that drives me even more. i like the idea that i get a taste of what it would be like to have it. but just a taste, a small and meaningless graze to my senses, never enough to satiate.

best i can do to describe it: walking to a louie vuitton store and checking out the bags. you put them on on your arm and walk around with it. you instantly know that it'll go great with pretty much every single outfit you own. it's love at first sight. but then you put it back to the case. the day is over and you leave without it. sometimes the dream is enough to satisfy.

im not talking about a bag. but you get what im saying?

have you ever felt like that?

how i spent my friday night

i don't have actual photos of the event. but i will say that jon avila is ridiculously hot.

please can i have some of that? i'll even have seconds too.

bench denim (who cares about the denim?) and underwear (ive never seen more briefs in one night) show was great.

so...
jon avila.

how was your friday night?

hmmm...

went to mocha blends with friends last night. we were laughing like crazy. i swear there's something creepy and sad about a dark mall.

closing time:

diba?

what do you think?

im not fat! im "LAYERED"!

deep deep down, there's a hot girl inside me with a 24 inch waistline and vavavoom figure. right now, she's just layered by an extra layer of fat... All the better to eat you with. My my.

this is the reason why im so effing layered:

and this:

this too:

laugh trip yung mukha ko sa last pic! hahaha!

thanks to my friends who consistently take me out for nice dinners and great conversations every weekend. Mahal ko kayo!

WOOT WOOT!!!!

i got my new car today!

everybody sing: WHOOT THERE IT IS!!! WHOOT THERE IT IS!!!

pics to follow.

last goodbye

i was in college when i first got him. such a beauty. i really liked the independence that having my own car provided me. i didnt have to rely on anyone to drive me places, i didnt have to commute anymore which provided me much respite from the chaos -- and the then confusion of the katipunan-aurora intersection that didnt yet have that foot bridge, i could actually stay in school and hang out with friends later than 6pm (my parents didnt want me to commute in the evening and getting a ride was hard). what joy it brought me to finally be able to break free from all those conditions!

i have some fond memories in the car:

* the first day i drove the car unaccompanied, my dad was out of town and my mom said i could knock myself out driving. i accidentally hit a red van and the owner was kind enough to wave me off. however it left a small red spot on the hood of my car. my mom and i spent the afternoon removing that stain with *gasp* nail polish remover! my dad never found out. thanks mom!

* my brother was still in high school then and was quite busy with after school activities. i would sometimes pick him up and we would go home together. sometimes, his friends would hitch a ride with us. when my then cheating lousy ass boyfriend broke my heart, i would drive over to the high school department to pick them up and the boys would console me with encouraging words. i felt so loved and so cared for.

* i worked briefly for a call center. i remember my mom running after me as i left the house at 1am to go to work calling out that she would be okay if i left that job. apparently, she was getting too stressed from the reversed schedule. my pride made me stay on that job for 5 more months until i fell asleep behind the wheel and i hit a parked jeep. thank god it was rush hour so i wasnt speeding at all. my resignation was delivered the following week.

* i moved to a job at an office that was closer to my home. i fell in love yet again. and once again, it was a mistake. he hit me and i could only tell you that my car became my strength, my rock and literally, my protective angel as it received many physical blows meant for me.

there are many many more stories that this page couldnt keep track of all of them. i can tell you this much, however. while i've never been much of a car afficionado, i quickly fell in love with iggy. he became the friend i never thought i had. much like the tin man, he was made of hardened steel,but he needed no one to give him a heart. he had one already when he took on the role of my guardian and ally. we sold him to a good home three weeks ago. i miss him already and the emptiness in his garage right outside my window is but a constant reminder of his departure.

my dad said that it's time for a change. and what a change it is. i guess he left me at the best time as today i get my new car (im christening him robbie, i think). before i commence with the celebratory welcome for my new partner, i want to give one last shout out to iggy, my suzuki vitara, my comrade in arms, my guardian, my friend and my rock. make better memories with your new mom. i know that ive become smarter not just as a car owner and as a driver but as a daughter, a sister, a friend and a person because of all the times we've had.

Cheers IGGY! And a final goodbye!

pure love

have you ever loved as much as i love her? *sigh*

she's the prettiest thing i've ever laid eyes on. just thought it would be perfect for my first post.